– [Apple] Looks like a beautiful night for racing at the Twisted Mansion. – [Orange] Meh. I was looking forward to the
Curvy Bungalow, but it’ll do. – [Apple] Man, this
controller’s really heavy, I didn’t expect it to be real gold. (laughs) (laughs) Nice Prius, Mario. – [Orange] Seriously, the
guy looks like a hair dryer. – [Apple] Three, two, one. Go!
– And they’re off, and Orange is the winner. (laughs) – [Apple] We haven’t
even started the race. You can’t call yourself a winner, yet. – [Orange] Yeah, sure I can. All right, okay what am I gonna get? All right green shell, ♫ I’m on a Highway to Shell and you’re going down! Ah, man, I spoke too soon. – [Apple] Stupid banana peels, I can’t hit anything with these. Where were you on that
one, golden controller? – [Orange] What? Are you just peeling out? Hey! Watch it, Toad. You’re all over the road. Where’d you get your license? – [Apple] Okay, okay. Here we go golden controller. Give me something good, give it good. Oh yeah, red shell! I got a red shell with
your name on it, Orange. – [Orange] Yeah, right. – Oh, no
– Oh, yeah. Eat green shell. – [Orange] Oh, eat red shell. – [Both] Oh, no, no! We got hit at the same time. Jinx! You owe me a coke. No, you owe me a coke. (laughing) – [Apple] Aw, no, he slimmed me. – [Orange] See, this is
why windshield wipers should be standard on all Mario Karts. – [Apple] Ew, it’s like he ate
a pen and then puked it up. – [Orange] Gross, seriously
what a naughty little squirt. (laughs) – [Apple] Whoa, I’m actually
ahead of you for once. Aw, crap, I hit the wall. – [Orange] (laughs) Looks
like you spoke too soon. – [Apple] What? How did you go from– – [Orange] Magic. (frustrating yelling) (laughs) Use your words. (laughs) – [Apple] My words are
I’m gonna get you, Orange. – [Orange] Gotta catch me first! Yeah! – [Apple] Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’m only at 7, I’m gonna catch
up to you, just you wait. – Oh, yeah.
– Get him toad. – [Orange] Toad, get outta here Toad. – [Apple] I love you, Toad. – [Orange] What’d you just say? – [Apple] Oh, yeah, gold mushroom. Coming at you. Here we go. Gonna catch up to you in no time. (laughs) Oh, man.
(Orange laughs) You know, Bowser’s definitely
not built for control, but if you like slamming into walls, he’s pretty good at that. Thanks, golden controller. – [Orange] What’s that, I’m
sorry, were you talking? I can’t hear you all the way
up here at third! (laughs) (frustrated yelling) Whoa, who hit the midget switch? – [Apple] That’s little switch! – [Orange] Well, pardon me, but I think it’s irresponsible
to shrink and drive. (laughs) – [Apple] Hardy-har-har-har. – [Orange] Yeah, you could
say I’m a hit-and-pun driver. (laughs)
– Ah, seriously? – [Orange] Get it, hit and pun? – [Apple] Yeah, I got it, I got it. – [Orange] It’s a joke. – [Apple] You know, informing people that your jokes are jokes, doesn’t actually make them funnier. – [Orange] I beg to differ. (laughs) – [Apple] But then laughing at your jokes doesn’t make them funnier, either. – [Orange] Oh man, I
gotta pay attention more. I went down to fourth place. – [Apple] Good, that means it’ll be easier for me to catch you. – [Orange] Meh, to be fair,
it’d be easier for you to catch me if you were
good at this game. (laughs) – [Apple] Zip the lip. – [Orange] Oh what’s that? Second place? Yeah, that’s right. I didn’t like being in fourth place, so I choose to be second. And what’s this? Oh, oh, oh, yeah! First place, I win! I win! – [Apple] There’s still
one lap left, you idiot. – [Orange] He said from
sixth place. (laughs) (frustrated yelling) What’s the matter? Having problems there, bud? Maybe you should reload
your Bowser window. (laughs) – [Apple] (laughs) Okay, that
was actually kind of funny. And kind of accurate. Every time I hit a
curb, I’m like, “Turn!”, but my cart’s all like,
404: File not found. – [Orange] Dude, come on. Stop making it sound so nerdy. – [Apple] Whatever, I’m
gonna get an awesome item. Come on, come on, golden controller. What? You gave me a mushroom again. (laughs) – Oh, oh, I’m in fifth
and you’re in fourth. I’m catching up with you.
– Oh yeah. – Oh, now I’m in sixth again. – Sorry there, little buddy. – I ran into a corner again. ♫ Pa pa pa pasta face ♫ my my pasta face (laughing)
– What? what are you doing? – [Orange] I don’t know, I
just felt like saying that. – [Apple] Oh, okay. Whatever.
– Come on, green shell, don’t fail me now. Ah, you failed me now, now, you’re all– – What happened?
– You failed me, green shell. I’m never gonna give you
a good job recommendation, if you can’t do your job well. – [Apple] Are you making a habit of giving good job recommendations to all the items in the game? – [Orange] Well, I have to for banana. I don’t wanna hurt his peelings. (laughs) – [Apple] Are you kidding me? You just said that joke last race. – [Orange] All right, fifth place. Well, it’s not great, bit it’s way better than eighth. (laughs) – [Apple] This stupid golden
controller didn’t help at all! – Nope.
(frustrated yelling) Ah, too bad. – [Apple] It ain’t over yet, though. – [Orange] Well, it kind of is. (laughs) – [Apple] It ain’t over until
the fat lady sings, Orange. – [Orange] Well, how about
when the orange sings? – No.
♫ Yeah – [Apple] No, stop it. That’s horrible, stop it.
♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah