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Dumb Things In The Force Awakens That Everyone Just Ignored

August 31, 2019


In a turn of events that surprised exactly
no one, Star Wars: The Force Awakens became one of the biggest hits of the past several
years, and scored some pretty great reviews to boot. It borrowed heavily from the first Star Wars
film, sure, but it sprinkled in enough fresh ideas to balance out the nostalgia perfectly. So the film is pretty great! But…that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few
things in there that might make you scratch your head. Here are the dumb things we all ignored in
Star Wars: The Force Awakens. So…what’s the First Order’s whole deal anyway? In the original Star Wars trilogy, the Rebellion
fights for freedom from the tyranny of the Empire. The Empire is, well, an empire: it’s a huge,
evil government that rules the galaxy with an iron fist. Makes sense, right? But in The Force Awakens, it’s the Resistance
that fights against the First Order. And the First Order is…what, exactly? If the Rebellion defeated the Empire, and
the galaxy is now governed by the New Republic, then what the heck is the First Order? What do they do, and why? And where’d they get the resources to build
an entire planet made of Death Stars? Curious fans can hit up Google for the First
Order’s unexplained backstory. But seriously: we shouldn’t have to chase
down the answers to some pretty basic questions by digging into The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary
that kids buy at elementary school book fairs. R2-D2’s perfect timing That little data file that led to Luke’s hidden
location served as a great carrot to dangle in front of everyone and keep this movie,
uh, rolling. If there’s one thing Star Wars does great,
it’s hiding important information in adorable robots. “What message? The one that you’ve just been playing. The one that you’re carrying in your rusty
innards.” But BB-8 only has a piece of the map. So, naturally, the little guy wonders about
other droid who spent some time as a rolling flash drive: R2-D2. In fact, he asks R2 about whether or not he’s
got the rest of the map everybody needs. And then this happens: “You’re wasting your time. It is very doubtful that R2 would have the
rest of the map in his backup data. I’m afraid not. R2 has been in low power mode ever since Master
Luke went away.” But C-3PO is totally wrong, as we find out
at the end of the film, when R2 suddenly wakes up — just in time to put everybody back
into a good mood. That’s great timing, R2. But…hadn’t the Resistance ever tried to
look through R2’s memory before? He literally has a computer for a brain! Nobody dug out a USB cable and plugged him
into the computer? No one in the Resistance has heard of Ctrl-F? Captain Phasma is not very Phantastic Captain Phasma is undeniably cool, what with
her shiny armor, fancy cape, and slick British accent. And then…she goes down like a sack of potatoes. And then, she pretty much caves immediately. Finn tells her to bring down the shields across
the base, and she does it without a fight. Did she only get that fancy stormtrooper suit
because she’s, like, General Hux’s cousin or something? Hunks don’t need parachutes Remember when Finn and Poe crash land on Jakku,
and Finn takes Poe’s jacket from the smoking wreckage? It sure seemed like Poe was dead…until he
showed up again for the last act of the movie. We never find out how he survived. Or even why he left his styling jacket behind. The reason? Poe was actually dead — at least, in the
first bunch of drafts of the screenplay. Apparently director J.J. Abrams was so taken
with actor Oscar Isaac’s performance, he decided to keep Poe around after all. Too bad we can’t say the same for every pilot
in Star Wars, of course. “Cover me, Porkins.” “I’m right with you Red 3.” “Got a problem here.” “Eject.” “I can hold it.” “Pull up.” “No, I’m alright…” Sorry, Porkins. Shoulda been handsomer. A Most Convenient Chasm The film ends with a climactic battle between
Rey and Kylo Ren, as she takes the emo Vader wannabe to the woodshed. By the end of the fight, Kylo Ren has a few
holes in him and Rey is triumphant. Then, a very convenient hole opens up right
between them, allowing Ren to be rescued before Starkiller Base explodes. This, of course, is highly symbolic of the
ideological divide between Rey and Kylo Ren. One has embarked on the path of the Jedi,
while the other has turned his back on it forever. Good versus evil. Dark versus light. Oh, and keeping your exciting new bad guy
alive so he can come back and give your heroes a hard time in the sequel. Too bad we can’t say the same for every exciting
new bad guy in Star Wars, of course. Sorry, Darth Maul. Shoulda been, uh…Kylo Rennier. Thanks for watching! Click the Looper icon to subscribe to our
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