Flying the nest –
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Flying the nest –

January 26, 2020

Leaving home for me, I’m really looking forward
to it. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do. I think it’s a necessary step for me. When they go to university, it is moving on isn’t it? They know they’re going to be making
new friends, new lives and I think it’s just that they just move on. You know, we’ve definitely missed her and, you know, her dad as much as me as well. I think that it’s mixed feelings for parents when their children leave home. There’s one
sense of: okay I’ve got them to this point and they’re able to go on to live a good life
by themselves and do things which will build their own lives, but at the same time, suddenly,
it looks as if you’re not needed anymore. This will be the last time that I make his
bed for a long, long time. I’m only doing it because I think otherwise there’s nothing
else for me to do standing round here in this rather dismal room. But it’s a bit disconcerting when you’re a parent and they don’t look back. I will be quite sad to see her go because I think I’ve got quite a bond with Rachel,
I feel, and I will miss her. I think on the way home, I will do the weeping
then because he’s been a great friend. He’s a really – he’s a lovely boy, I’m rather
proud of him. I felt that I was almost – you’re use has
been, you’ve been used up and sort of thrown away almost. It’s quite sad. It’s important to be positive about what’s happened, that you’ve got your children to
the point where they can leave you. That’s a good thing that you’ve done. But there’s
also this feeling, I used to be a mum of three and now I’m a mum of two, and when you’re
last one goes, I used to be a mum, so I think that leaves people feeling, well, what am
I going to do with myself day to day. And I think this is an opportunity to say, okay,
what can I do with the remaining fifteen, twenty years of my life? You do get more time for yourself, but it doesn’t mean to say that you lose contact
with your family. I’m eighteen now, I’ve left to go to university
and it was terrifying, but now I love it and I don’t really like being at home anymore. One of the things about leaving home has been just missing my family, home-cooked meals
and stuff like that, but, yes, definitely just the family side of it. They’ve gone from living in a house with a family with all the nicely cooked dinners
to living in an apartment. I’m not scared about it at all, so – Don’t be ringing up every day to say, how are you, how’s it going? And don’t get upset
if they’re not always there to take your call. This is a new life for them and it takes a
lot of adjusting to. But also, like a lot of big transitions in life, sometimes it doesn’t
go very well, so be there in case your son or daughter finds it hard to live away from
home and does need perhaps more support than perhaps you thought. I think she does need us still, I mean, we’re still at the end of the phone and it’s only
an hour and half up the motorway. So if she wanted us to come down, if she was having
a crisis or whatever, we’d be here, it wouldn’t be a problem for us. So you are still needed, you’re just needed in a different way. Once you’re a mother, you’re a mother for life regardless of how old your children are.

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