Helicopter Parent VS Free Range

October 9, 2019

– Kids, your pregnant mother and I are gonna hang out here and drink martinis and smoke cigarettes indoors. – Oh hey, why don’t you get on your bikes and go through that intersection and go get some McDonald’s drive-through. Here’s 75 cents that should be enough. Mm martinis, yummy. (upbeat music) (child laughing) – Hey, I’m Kim. – And I’m Penn. – And like most parents, we
are just doing the best we can. – I’m doing the best I can,
I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing the best I can. That was an airplane, but
point taken, you know– – Doing the best we can. – When panic strikes we just
say that over and over again. We’re trying to help our kids grow, and also keep them safe at the same time. – And it leads to two different types of parenting styles.
– Mm hm. – I tend to be more helicoptery and hovery and smothery maybe. This guy, free range. – You know what that means. It’s time for the battle. Helicopter parent versus
free range parent, let’s go! (bell dings) Round one, let’s just start
with the beginning of any day. When I am waking up from
sleep and Kim is hovering over me with very wide
eyes, with her phone, and looking at me and saying “Did you hear about that kid from Portugal “who was walkin’ to the
whatever a mailbox is “in Portugal, and was abducted by aliens? “And the kid was 11, that’s Lola’s age. “This could have been Lola. “If we lived in Portugal
and if there were aliens, “this could be us.” – I do email or alert him
(Penn laughing) if there are– – “Community watch alert,
community watch alert!” – dangerous situations
that children have faced across the globe, that I
feel like could relate to us, I make sure he knows about all of them. The world can be a very scary place and if I hover at all times, I can keep our children safe. So basically him, at the end of the day, he’s like “Ah it’s a long
day, I’m gonna turn in, “I’m just gonna leave
all 47 doors and windows “unlocked and open, let’s
just leave ’em open. “And I’m gonna hold up a sign that says Hey, you know if anyone wants to come in and steal my kids right now,
they’re upstairs sleeping and I’ve left everything unlocked.” He leaves stuff unlocked! – Would you admit that I’m doing better? – You are.
– A little bit better, – You are doing better. – After you scared the
holy crud out of me– – Because I emailed him articles. – With stories about
people getting abducted from their garage door so okay. – Yeah.
– Round two! (bell dings) This past weekend, Kim took a huge step. She let Lola ride her bike
500 yards away from the house to a park, by herself, sort of. She was looking out at her and saying “Okay honey, you’re ready to go. “You got your helmet on and
you’ve got your elbow pads, “and you’ve got your
reflectors even though “it’s in the middle of the day “and yeah, you’ll have a great trip.” Literally one minute
later, she’s been gone, Kim goes “Um, you know, I totally forgot “about that blind turn
at the end of the street, “she doesn’t have a
phone, aliens in Portugal, “you know what, I’ll be right back.” So she goes (laughing)
and runs in the house, gets the keys to her car
and follows at a safe, or I don’t know if it was a safe distance, – It was a safe distance. – Right behind Lola as she’s on her way. Can you imagine– – Not right behind her,
not right behind her. – Well she could hear you–
– No. – ’cause you were yelling out the window “Lola!”
– No. – “Signal left hand turns
Lola, signal left hand turns. “Sidewalks only please,
aliens in Portugal!” – No, it was a safe distance. People are crazy and they’re texting and they’re not paying attention and yeah. But Penn’s argument is not a good one. He’s all like “The kids need to get out. “They’re not gonna grow
unless they crash their bikes. “Then they’ll learn how to get up, “unless they get hit by a car, “then we’ll have to take them to the ER “and pay $13,000 for a cast “because our insurance is terrible.” (Penn laughing) “But they have to learn these
valuable childhood lessons.” – But I feel like there’s
a way to learn lessons without them being run over. – If we had better
insurance, would you be okay letting them ride their bikes? (laughing) – No, I feel like I want
them to learn lessons and be independent, yet
I definitely want to be with them the entire time. – Can you believe we’re even
having this conversation considering how our parents were with us? – Oh my gosh. – With bikes, I’m like imagining them in sepia colored film saying now kids, your pregnant mother and
I are gonna hang out here and drink martinis and
smoke cigarettes indoors. Oh hey, why don’t you get on your bikes and go through that intersection and go get some McDonald’s drive-through. Here’s 75 cents that should be enough. Mm martinis, yummy! (Penn laughing) – My mom definitely, she worked from home, and she definitely was
like just go outside. – Go! (bell dings) I’m sorry because I have
seen something from you that is extreme helicopter
parent material. Which is when you
helicopter other children. – When they’re not in safe situations, I think other moms would appreciate this. – You are outside, first of all, what does this say about our family? You were outside doing
some weeding in the garden, I was inside on my cell phone. (laughing) – Yep – But look at this picture. There’s Kim, nice boots by the way. Let’s zoom out here. See that little girl running by? You’re about to shout at that little girl that you don’t know who is going by you (laughing) on the street. – These little girls wiz by
on the wrong side of the road, a car had just gone by, they
blow through a stop sign on a blind turn– – I was actually just taking a picture ’cause I thought it was
cute that you were outside in those boots, weeding. But then I hear this
“Girls, you need to stay “on the right side of the road, “and you blew through a
traffic sign, it’s not safe. “I know you’re not supposed to turn around “and look at strangers,
but this is a stranger “telling you to safen up!.” And like, what did they do? – They freaked out and rode away. (Penn laughing) But, they, there’s so many blind turns and they just blew through it and it’s very impactful when a stranger yells at you. (laughing) – Is it? It’s impactful, it is impactful. – They’re gonna come
back and egg my house. I don’t discipline other,
but can I add this? I don’t discipline other peoples kids. – Mm?
– I don’t. I mean there was that
one kid. (both laughing) We were at this jumpy park– – Oh my gosh, don’t ever
take her to a travel park– – But there was a dodge ball tournament and this eight-year-old little twerp, – Twerp, yeah.
Took those balls, and there was a five-year-old, and he just kept like hit him in the head and that, I did– – You snapped, you were all like “What’s your name, where’s
your mother, what’s your name? “Gimme the ball, I’m gonna
hit you with the ball “and I want you to see what it feels like. “Where’s your mother
and what’s your name?” – I didn’t say I was gonna hit him, but I did tell Lola. (both laughing) – Before they come and take you away, I want you to know that I am so grateful for your helicopterdedness. Because I don’t have it in me, and we need our kids to be safe, and now you say the part
where you’re grateful for me. – I’ve (laughing) no, you
do give them more freedom and that’s awesome. – Do you wish I’d be more
like a helicopter sometimes? – No, honestly– – And you could be the fun one? ‘Cause you can’t be the fun one. – I can’t be the fun one.
– Okay, yeah. – No, but I know, I know in my heart that I need to just like,
hover from a higher, right now I’m here and I
know I need to do that. So when you’re addressing
your judgemental comments, know that I’m completely
aware of how tight my grasp is and I need to let it go, – Mm hmm.
– but I’m learning. – Sounds like you’re ready for a visit from the mommy police on this one. – I know (laughing) I’m like lock me up! – Here they come, okay.
– Yeah. – Thanks for watching. Make sure and hit whatever the button is that helps you engage in social media. (both laughing)

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