How Did They Survive with No Food? – Alternatino
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How Did They Survive with No Food? – Alternatino

September 9, 2019


[eerie piano music] ♪ ♪ – Oh, my God.
[radio static crackles] We found the crash site
of the rugby team. There are survivors. Assessing the damage.
We’ll send coordinates. – Hello, men. I’m rescue worker Smith. This is rescue worker Ruiz. – Hey. – We’re gonna get you
off this mountain. Now, we need to assess
the situation. I can see that not all
of you are here. And since you’ve been missing
for over three months without any food,
we assume that, to survive, you had to resort to some
extraordinary measures. – Yeah, it’s true. – Tell me, did you survive
because you ate… – The plane, yeah. – What? – In order to survive,
we ate the plane. – No way.
– It’s true. – You ate the plane
you went down in. – Well, we didn’t see
any other plane up here. [laughter] – Yeah, we just had
the one, Smith. – Was it good?
– Tina, don’t–this is not– – What, I… – No. No, it wasn’t good.
– It was pretty bland. – So you ate the wings? – Yeah. – You ate the seats? – Oh, yeah. – You ate the oil and the gas? – Well, we drank it. – You can’t eat a liquid.
[laughter] – Well, that’s what I meant.
Thank you. – Yeah, you didn’t say that. – What about
the in-flight meals? – We tried them, but they
tasted terrible. – Really disgusting,
really disgusting. – All right, do you guys know
where we can find the black box? – [inhales sharply] Ooh,
anybody else want to tell him? – Okay, I’ll go.
We ate it. – Are you serious? – It’s the best part
of the plane. It’s, like, the heart meat. – That was a good day.
– That was Thanksgiving. – Oh, that’s right, yeah.
– Yeah. – Okay, there are more
important things to discuss right now. – Are there? – Are any of you hurt?
– Um, I have a stomachache. But that might just be
from eating the plane. – Yeah, that’s what it is.
– If I had to guess. – Yeah, definitely. – If you didn’t eat any
of the people, where are the rest
of the passengers? – Oh, they went
down the mountain. They didn’t want to eat
the plane. – Why didn’t you guys go
with them? – We were eating the plane. – Hey, have you seen
my walkie-talkie? – [crunching]
– It was right here. – Seriously? – The plane was better. The plane was better.
– Yeah, figured as much. – Now, for dessert, does
anybody have any gas or oil I could eat? [laughter] I got you.
– Smith.

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  1. now, since the walkie talkie has been delt with, they can go ahead and deal with the two retards that walked into their trap…

  2. Man, this show has been SO on point so far!!! I'm amazed at the quality. Based on the consistency of Arturo's bits so far, if he keeps it up this can get as much reverence in CC history as Key & Peele, if not more

  3. “It’s the best part of the plane. It’s like the heart meat” 😂 the phrase “heart meat” was definitely used in the pitbull sketch too. Definitely gonna use that from now on

  4. this must be the stupidest comedy sketch I've ever seen. Survivors eating an airplane. How is this supposed to be funny if you are older than 5?

  5. This was the last time this people had been seen including the rescuers.
    The last signal of "Mayday, Mayday, Mayday" was made by the Rescuer Helicopter's Pilot.
    The another attempt of the Rescue was made shortly after the Mayday signal. The another helicopter was dispatched towards the origin of the signal. However nobody has ever heard back from the 2nd helicopter.

  6. Weird I came across this after watching the vid about what actually happened to them and I mean they did try to eat leather and looked for Hay in the seats before they had to resort to cannibalism

  7. the reason that this is ironically funny is that there was a real rugby team that crashed and they had to resort to cannibalism but the ones who survived were then ridiculed by the mainstream media and people. what else were they supposed to do is exactly what this is about. lol

  8. They should have ended it with "Yeah nah we ate the other guys of course. did you actually think we ate the plane?"

  9. Their intestines be like:: wtf was that dude …seems like u need a course for what to eat and what to not ….

  10. Meanwhile halfway down the mountain,

    “Guys, I think we can agree that we aren’t gonna make it down this mountain. I propose that instead we set up camp here and eat every tree within 100 meters so that it will make us easier to spot.”

    “Eat the trees?”

    “Yeah”

    “Better than the plane!” Omnomnomnom

  11. Does anyone here knows that its actually based on a true story???
    Survivors did eat their dead friends when food ran out and people turned against them for it!!
    Eventually people understood they did what they had to do to survive!

  12. I’m scared af by this sketch! Exactly, where are the other passengers? Eating the plane is obviously a dumb coverup for the fact that they ATE the rest of the passengers. They joke around to let the rescuers’ guard down, while one guy sneaks up and destroys the walkie talkie to cut off the communication.

    Ask yourselves 3 questions and things will become clear:
    1). What do you think would happen to the rescuers next?
    2). Why get rid of the black box?
    3). Are they passengers on the plane in the first place?

  13. At 30,000 FT
    Pilot : Mayday, mayday – we've lost control over the aircraft – it appears…
    wait, what?! Umm, tower – someone ate the left wing
    Watchtower : come again?
    In the meantime these legends : Dude, I think we should've stopped at the luggage inboard

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