It was early October 2018, and it was warm outside… “Too warm for October”, I thought. Not that it matters, since this is a video game… I’m just setting the scene for you guys. I was past halfway in my month of using the Scarab, and it was going pretty well so far. I can’t give too much away there, since I’m gonna be revealing a full analysis of exactly how things went on October 19th So for now I’ll just say… it was going okay. I was finally finding my groove in this little… thing which in real life most closely resembles the combination of a smart car and a dung beetle. For maximum effect on my opponents, I figured out the best way to get in their heads was not just to score but completely bully them around like the monster I’d become, and that play style was in full effect for this game It was going really well Too well, as we’re about to find out. You see, Rocket League is as much a mental game as it is technical Well, it takes a certain amount of fortitude and composure to lead your team to victory while down a couple goals It also takes focus and concentration to keep a four goal lead that’s been mounted in just a few minutes and when I say it takes focus and concentration to keep A goddamn four goal lead what I mean is all you have to do is not be a complete fucking moron for three consecutive minutes Sorry, this is an emotional topic for me and you’ll soon see why So the thing about a four goal lead is you do have quite a bit of cushion, right? So even though what you see on your screen is completely stupid You can at least understand how I was just being overconfident and it really just displays a lack of focus Why did I choose to get this boost? Why did I choose to take a long loop around and get completely out of position while my opponent Clearly had possession of the ball and was dribbling towards my goal? Those are good questions Questions I don’t have the answer to, all I know is it was four to one. Thankfully a three goal lead is still a pretty nice cushion unless of course you continue to do stupid things. Welcome to the life of Sunless. Let’s see what happens next So this next play is a really interesting situation So we have a three goal lead, but we’re continuing to apply pressure, which is really good. In fact right here We have another chance for a goal in this situation. I have somewhat cut the rotation in the sense I’ve decided to stick around and continue to apply pressure instead of (pause) Circling out for my teammate and this is because I still have some boost and I’m still right there on the ball So I’m pretty confident that I can win it and get a nice Center to my waiting teammate in the middle sure enough I actually end up winning the ball and there it was floating right above my head in a perfect position to Center the ball oh no Now there’s one problem with this that problem is my teammate thinks it’s also a good idea to Center the ball YOU BIG DUMMY Unfortunately, this is 2v2 which means there’s only two of us which begs the question who exactly are we centering to here
Wait…. REALLY? Again you just have to ponder life’s mysteries so thanks to that little lapse and reason it was now four to nite but again It wasn’t really a problem because as you see in this next play we were still getting lots of chances on this team (Nice shot!) here We are again mounting another attack this time as you can see my teammate has decided to stay center Whew. Which means this time I might actually be able to get a pass out to him as I’m dribbling up the wall I decided a good way to do this would be to pinch it against the ceiling and try to drop it down to him Good idea!(?) The first problem here is I actually miss but that should be fine. Assuming my teammate has stayed back and I know that’s interesting so the choice here made by my teammate is to actually pre jump this I guess just Assuming that I was actually good at the game, which is a BIG assumption and it’s led to a counterattack It’s totally fine though. My teammate made a beautiful recovery and was well on his way – completely MISS THE BALL All right. So now it’s four to three Well-well-well. We officially have a close game and we really got to pay attention Now if we weren’t before enough pre jumping enough double commits in the corner (Sunless dont say that, youll do it anyway), it was time to really focus up So here you can see we’re really gritting our teeth and we’re gonna really play some big-boy defense, right? The other team actually had a nice little attack here and it looked like they were gonna score on us But thankfully the ball dropped down right in front of my teammate for the nice and “easy” clear Not only that the other team has over committed so much that we actually have a perfect breakaway attempt All we need to do is just get a little piece of the ball to clear it out and then we should have an open net to score on the problem is we have a little bit of trouble clear here and After that, nice little gift to our opponent look at that. It’s four to four and the four goal lead has completely disappeared DRAMATIC MEXICAN MUSIC OR SOMETHING At this point in time the blue team feel as if they can do no wrong or more accurately they realize they’re playing against two complete idiots with the mental composure of a regular sunless if they were able to score four goals in such a Short period of time how hard would it be to put one more in to seal the victory? At the same time on our side we’re realizing just how incompetent sunless is and rather than putting the last couple minutes behind me Can’t stuff that sinking feeling that we’re about to pay for my sins yeet yeet YEET yeet, yeet yeet YEET yeet and then it happened As the ball floated up over our heads in front of goal presenting itself to be hinting to our practically defenseless net I begin to reflect how this could happen to me. What went wrong Obviously your dad’s condom and life choices You see there’s some lessons in rocket League that you have to learn the hard way you Think by that I mean experience once and learn from your mistakes, but know by the hard way I mean literally make a video on how no lead is safe (I wonder if Mr. Egg is ok) cock experience being on the wrong side of a come back multiple times Have well over a thousand hours of experience and still somehow be unable to oh shit. They missed I Never mind, we won What a save! Yall don’t know how hard and time-consuming that was. Took like an hour. I commented by the way. Hope you enjoyed.