LOST IN SPACE | ClusterTruck #9
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LOST IN SPACE | ClusterTruck #9

September 23, 2019


*Whopshh* TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE! And welcome back to ClusterTruck! I know what you’re thinking why o’why
Jack did you not come back to ClusterTruck I- I- did a few episodes of it in
preparation for Pax West And I was having an absolute blast with it and then one
day I logged onto the game I went to play it and it said come back September 19th And I was like whaat? Why? Because the game is coming out very soon It’s coming on the
twenty-seventh, I believe, as a full release that’s not going to be like an
alpha or beta or an early access thing anymore The full game was actually gonna come
out with all the levels all the upgrades All the everything and I’m so excited
about it because this game is awesome but because I had like the early access
version of it already, now that I can Oh God. . . please don’t tell me. . .
YESSS! The last thing I did was “Ancient” we did
“Medieval”, “Ancient” and now we’re going into “Sci-Fi” Yes! Let’s do it And I think there’s more levels after that Oh yes Oh crap, I don’t have my double jump equipped Oh good lord! What happened?! Oh no ho ho WHAAATT!! HA HA HA We’re getting abducted! Ohhh God what do I do? What-owww What do I do? Oh shit just keep running Just keep running! Fuck everything! And don’t look back! Looking back- Awww man, I was doing really well Looking back Is the badness That’s what’s going to get me killed HUH Yes Now what the fuck is down here OHHH Come on! Ha ha ha ha OK Hold on a second I have to go back out to main menu abilities Uhhh Double Jump okay that’s equipped and… Time Slow and what was the other one? Epic Mode? No, Epic Mode sucked Okay here we go *giggles* Now we have some sort of fucking chance of doing stuff Hup! Oh God that slows me down though Uhp Ugh Kay just on the- ohhh God nooooo! Guh yess! I am the best! Oh shit Might not be the best Anymore Make it! Make it! Yeah buddy! WAH HA HA HA HOOO *claps* *VICTORY DANCE* Oh I love this game I missed it so much Ummm What was I doing before? “Just friends” Yeah there I am Top of my friend, friend leader board Uhu my friendly board Oh God oh God oh Jesus Ohh Whoa whoa what the fuck?! Nice! I get to go into the air! Okay. Go. Go. Go. Argh, why are you guys all over the fucking place? Okay wait for this Should I go around this? Ohhhh No… Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea… Fuck. Ok. These levels are all crazy. I love
them! Hup! No… Aw shit! Ok. Not fast enough. Who’s not going fast enough? The guy who says speed is key every 411 seconds? Not- Surely not I! Oh god. Oh! Oh… oh god… Oh no oh Jesus fucking Christ I can’t even see what’s happening… Yes! Yes! Yeah ha ha ha! *High-fives self* Yeah! Oh my heart is fucking pounding right now. Can you hear it? No ‘course not. Why would you be able to hear? *laughs* Level 7 or World 7, Level 3 Oh the music is so cool! The
music is an underrated element of this game Oh God… Oh no. Oh no! I’m supposed to go again Oh shit. Look at all that air time! *woo sarcasm* Okay… Do- Am I supposed to stay on these then? Yeah. Okay. Stay on this one and then- egh! Oh! Make it! *unintelligible shout* Oh so close! I can do it though This is fucking awesome! Ok. Now land on you… That- *laughs* That was not what I meant to do! That was not cool! Only cool things are permitted Oh shit. Do I have another jump? I don’t… I messed it all up… Ok I don’t really know the scenario for this
or what I’m supposed to be doing… Okay, this is it… Hup! No. No. I need to jump off something again. I need to jump off something again! Help! Okay Maybe I should just stay here. Just stay here. Relax. It’s fine. Oh mother of he-zues. Ah shit! I need to be able to jump off a truck as it’s going down. That’s what I need to do. Aah! Oh God, no… Like this! NOOO! AAH! Shite my ass! Oooh… Poopy butts… *sighs* Can I jump out over anything? I don’t think so… Okay. Going all the way down- Aw balls… Hup! It’s not enough! Okay. Let me see for a sec… I need Air Dash. Just for this level Just for this level and then I’m fine. Then I can go back to my Double Jumpsies Hup! Hup! Hup! ‘Kay Let’s fucking do this boys! Yes! Nice truck! YES! Yes! I fucking did it! Oh I’m even greater then I thought I was! MOTHER APE ASS! Oh you hairy… Oh shite! Uh oh. Uh oh.. Uh oh. 🙁 Uh oh! Heh! Oh… Ah! *laughs* Okay. Relax. Patience. That’s how we do it. Oh… Oh…! You’re gonna go! You’re gonna make it the whole way! Oh buddy, I love you! YAY! Victory! ‘Tis mine! Nice! Okay. We’ll just continue progressing on instead of going back and equipping Double Jump …Yet- Oh! Motherfuck… What the hell?! No! Stop that! Nah- God! Okay. We’re fine. Just let the front trucks take all the brunt of it. You guys okay? oh… Thye’re getting fucked though ‘Kay Make some progress at least. Yes! It’s only attacking the front trucks so we’re okay. Speed Bonus is still a thing. Yes! A thousand for the Speed Bonus That’s good! “You can now afford your first ability. Go to the shop” I mean… Yeah. I’m just gonna equip this. But… 15,000. What else do we have? “Levitation: Let’s the player levitate” “Protable Truck: A projectile that spawns a truck” So I can spawn one underneath me feet The Grappling Hook… Grappling Hook! Oh… I can’t unlock any of them I’m going back to my Double Jump. Double Jump is the best. If Double Jump was a person, I’d want it to be my brother What’s happening? Oh… Mother of Jesus Christ… I’m still alive! *girlish scream* So the rockets don’t kill me, they just explode everything Oh God… This is fucking nuts! You’re making a crazy game, even fucking crazier. *another girlish scream* Hold on! Hold on for sweet dear Jesus life! WHOOO!! Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh… Please make it onto that… Please. Yes baby! HOO! Feeling good! Feeling fresh as a daisy! It went through the fucking ground Why would you do that to me? *singing* How could this happen to me? Ah… Ah… D: Dodge the rockets… Dodge the rockets… I don’t even know where the fucking rockets are anymore AAH! NO! *frustrated laughter* A lot of people always ask me as well,
like, why am I trying to… … sprint to the end, when sitting on the truck… …is just as good… …but… Time Bonus, baby! Here we go… Yes-ser do! Hup! Hup! Hup! Oh fuck… Oh… NOOOOOO! *seething* Okay. So I need to be on something for that. Oh shit. Yeah! WHOO! Naahh… That was not as good I can’t see anything through all the explosions Hup! Shit I was trying to land on the side of one of them ’cause then you go SUPER fast! Hup! Ah God! WHOA! It BOOPED me! It booped me into the ground but then I was fine! 😀 *paniced scream turned falsetto singing* Hup! I’m good. I’m good. I’m good. I’m golden. I’m like a goose! *sighs* *epic dance moves* Do it man! Yeah! That’s what you didn’t do the last time. Eh! Ah! Slow it down! Oh!! Yea-ha ha ha ha ha! Ahaha! Fuck you, wall! I’m better than you! *laughs* Nice! Okay! Let’s keep going! These levels are awesome! Oh… Shit. Are you gonna raise again? Oh… Yes, it is. Yes, it is. OOOOOooohhhhh… Slow it on down there, Jimmy boy… Wait. Wh-What? Okay… This is fairly standard… Fairly standard procedures going on here… Oh… Oohh… Was I supposed to go in here? Oh. Oh! 🙁 NOOOO! Oh you… I’m not even gonna insult you this time. ‘Kay So this one is actually fairly easy Aah.. That’s why I keep failing it. So easy! *oh the sarcasm* (complete and utter gibberish) *laughs* Hup! Yes! Go. Go! You’re powered up go- AAH! You’re slowing down! Why are you slowing down? We don’t need the “slow-slow”. We need the “go-go” It’s cause of this bullshit This shittake mushroom AAH! God… Heup! Nice! *breath of relief* Hup! Yes… Ye-This is it. Oh I can feel it in me waters I can feel it in me bones! Wait for it… Hup! Keep it easy… Keep it breezy! KEEP IT STEVEY!! HA HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *claps* Did ya like that one? I did! *laughs* *laughs again* That was a goofy laugh Uhh… Nineteen?! Okay. Hup! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAH! Again!! AGAIN!!! *laughs* That’s AWESOME! I wanna keep doing that forever, please WHEEEEEE*laughs*EEEEE! Where am I? What is life? *still laughing* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *moar laughter* *can’t breathe properly* OH! These levels are SO GOOD! Okay. Okay. Ah, God. Too High. Ooh… Take it easy. I’m gonna pop a fucking gasket Okay. There we go. So I think I need to- yeah, go up. Oh shit. Oh… God. Oh… God Oh… *laughs* *inhales weirdly* ClusterTruck devs: You’re fucking nuts! I love it! Oh Jesus… Ah,why did I tempt fate? Yeeeeeaaahh… Oh, it feels so good. OH! It feels SO GOOD! Aha haha ha! Whoo hohohoo! Okay. I’m trying to walk backwards but I can’t ‘Kay, just sit here. What do I have to do? Where do have to go? Oh. Jesus Christ Are you serious? Do I have to bounce off one of these? Where am I going? Oh! Oh. YES! YEAH! OH! *victory laps* OH! OH! Oh! 😀 OH! Oh! That was wicked! HOOO! Oh, these levels are the best so far! Oh… Sh-nikey Oh fuck. AAH! The music is so good! This is the fucking best game ever! WOAH Mother of God. ._. WHOO! Oh God. I’m still alive! I’m not. I’m dead. Ha ha! I Am Spiderman! Ow! My face! JESUS! Where’d he come out of?! Hup! *whispers* oh yeah… oh yeah.. Oh! That feels AMAZING! DON’T Take this out of context *totally* Okay… You guys can explode all the fuck you want back there. I am outta here. I got it… I got it. *yep* I GOT IT! This is what it feels like to be a
fucking magician. A magician… NO- WHOA YES! I DID IT! No. No! It wasn’t enough! I almost had that I got too- I got too greedy Don’t get too greedy people If you get to greedy you’ll be nothing but a peasant like me Who can’t even get to the end of the level Do you- Do you wanna be like me? Be better than me. Be better than Jack Okay… Okay… Nice! Ok *breathes* We’ll take a little breather while shit
goes down in the background He he he Okay, nice! Nice Airtime! Keep it going! Keep it going! AAH! Oh God. Oh God. Almost fucked it up. Oh I did it again! 🙁 I did it again! I thought there was another one! Can’t I just come back down and bounce up again? No? Is tha- WOAH!! Haha haha OH! And it extended my airtime! *lolz* I just cheated Oh God the fucking future is weird man I don’t know if I want to be part of that Ah, no! My brothers! WHAA! I’m still alive! Ooh… God… Oh GOD! No! NO! NOOO! Oooh… Mandibles *wut* Okay. Stay here. See what happens See what happens. Everything is happening now! AAH! Okay. Okay. AAH! Jesus Christ This is scary. Get out. Get out! YES! Now go again. OOH!! That was amazing! Did I do good? 18th ‘Kay This is the last level in the “Sci-Fi” area Oh God. WAAH! What do I do? What do I do?? What do I do?! D: What do I do? What do I do?!? Oh no. This is bad. I’m falling *singing* Free falling AH! What the hell?! Aw. That’s bullshit. Now I’m all the way over here. Now I’m sitting in this chair Crap The idea for this game is just the fucking weirdest shit ever The fact that this game even exists is
weird shit Oh god Ah! It keeps- So where do I go? Maby I just stay on one of the trucks. See where this brings me. Oh God Could I go up over here? No I can’t Hmm Is there a secret way I can go? Ow. What happens if I hit the thing at the side? This thing You don’t do anything. The other one does Out the other end Which sucks Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh- -Kay Um.. Is there any upgrades I can get that’ll help me? Main Menu. Uhh… Abilities Grappling Hook? Maybe. “…teleports the player” oooOOOOooohh! 50,000 for that. Okay. Let me go back to the first level and I’ll get a good time on it So I can get four grand Yeaaaahhh… Yeeeeeeeeah… Yeeeeesss… Yes.. Let me go back to the first level so I can get a good time on it Cause I’m so good and I finished all the levels. Hmmm… Hubris. It will be my downfall I had too much forward momentum that was my problem AAH! Jack not like *wtf kind of accent is this* Jack want to stick fist in anus Rip out own intestines *normal voice* There we go. That’s what I wanted to do. There we go… Yikes! See you later buddy boys This isn’t even going to be four thousand is it? Nope So uh… let’s play the next o- Sorry, I’m just playing the same levels again Probably should skip this but it’s all part of the glory that is Jack’s Win You didn’t see nothing You didn’t see nothing Hup! Yes. Yes! Now I know what do. Now I know what am do! Hup! YEEEAAAAAAAOOOOOOHHH *sighs* Now that feels good. Abilities: Teleport. Unlock. Got it. Now we have to see what that actually does OH! So it’s like that is it? That doesn’t fucking help I mean I guess it does… …but going across these it doesn’t. Okay I need to use it with slow motion WHOO! Oh God Oh Go- See that fucking shit happens Can I even hit the trucks normally just by
going like this? Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Ah! The fucking- OOOH! The end is on the truck! The end comes to me. I was going too fast OOOOoooohhh! Oh x7 *claps* That’s how you do it! YEASH! Ha ha Okay. What are the next ones? Campaign Steampunk! Okay! Well, I guess I know where we’re going in the next video Ah! So pumped for more ClusterTruck! One of the best games on the channel, I think So much fun it gets you so pumped. I dare anyone to watch these videos or go out and play the game for themselves and
not feel like they can go punch several hundred kilometers of intestines across
the planet. Feels good man. But anyway thank you guys so much for watching this
episode if you liked it punch that like button in the face like a BOSS and high fives all around! Whopsh! Whopsh! But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO! Are you Assassin’s Creed? Of course you are Hahaha They did’t see a fucking thing.
Of course they didn’t When you hide inside the bales of hay, they don’t see anything. You just stick you little booty out and shake it all around. I’m feeling it I’m still feeling it. God. I feel like I just did cocaine or something and all
I did was heroin

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