ROCKET BABY!! | Who’s Your Daddy w/ Pewdiepie, JackSepticEye, and CinnamonToastKen!
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ROCKET BABY!! | Who’s Your Daddy w/ Pewdiepie, JackSepticEye, and CinnamonToastKen!

February 16, 2020


Pewds: Here we go Jack: Don’t be Daddy, don’t be Daddy [Mark Laughs] Pewds: May the best baby kill themselves!! [Closed Captioning is provided by the YouTube Community] Mark: It’s probably just going to be Andrew’s gonna be the mysterious robo daddy.
Felix: Aw yeah. Mark: He’s just going to stand in the middle of the store.
Ken: I’m a baby! OH GOD!!! Jack: Oooooh yeahhhhh! Ken: HE! HAI! HEY! Pewds: We’re all babies!! Ken: BAEBY! Pewds: We’re all- (cut off by Mark)
Mark: Ahh.. Mark: I’ve got the hat and no sunglasses, that’s me Mark: wait! wait so if…?
Ken: I got the cowboy hat and sunglasses. Jack: I’m top hat baby.
Mark: If all of us… If all of us are the baby then… that means.
Ken: Andrew’s the dad!! Mark: Who the hell is Andrew? Mark: Oh there’s a garage! I didn’t know there was a garage Jack: And you can get in the car now! Mark: Oh.. why!? [Mark laughs] Ken: Can I drink the bleach? No, it’s empty. Did you drink all the bleach?!! Pewds: I drank all the bleach, baby. [Mark laughs] Mark: You’re supposed to share, dude, c’mon! Jack: Aw, I wanna drive the car! Get out! Ken: You look so gross right now. Mark: I can’t drive! Pewds: You look so gross! Fuck you! Mark: [talking to himself] Turn off parking break… Jack: You’ve got a key! Ken: What is this? Mark: [still talking to self] Move gear selector Pewds: Oh, dat ass! Jack: Ooh, that baby! Baby, what are you doing? Babyplier? Mark: [STILL talking to self] Press gas pedal I don’t know Jack: I can’t run fast! Egh! Mark: Apparently it needs… it needs a key.. maybe? Ken: Welcome to da toaster! Jack: I work the pedals, you work the.. the stick Mark: Are you even in here? Jack: I’m right beside ya! Mark: Oh there you are! Ohhh. Ok. Pewds: Hey, there’s some more bleach here buddy! Ken: Alright!
Jack: I pressed the gas pedal! I pressed the gas pedal, it didn’t do anything Ken: Dude!!
Mark: Yeah, we need a key for the ignition. Ken: Dayuuumn look at this toaster! Mark: So there’s gotta be like a key [Mark laughs] Mark: I can… I can douse my body in gasoline Jack: WHAT?! Mark: I doused my tender body in gasoline
Jack: Stop it babeh! Jack: Jesus! Ken: My tender… baby body Jack: Oo~oh! I found some trash
Mark: So if I go into the oven am I just gonna co-? I’m gonna burst in the flames here Pewds: I see you, Mark [laughs] Mark: Am I dre- [laughs] nched in gasoline? Mark: Can someone turn this on, here? Pewds: I – yeah you look like you’re drenched in gasoline Pewds: Don’t Mark: Well Jack: Can I turn on a fire somewhere and burn you? Pewds: Don’t turn on any fires! Jack: Aw, I wanna burn Mark to death!
[Mark laughs] Mark: Where is there fire? I wanna be lit on fire Jack: Oh! Th – the stove! Ken: I think I died?
Mark: I tried it, I went in the oven it didn’t work
Pewds: [laughing] I died! Jack: Aw man! Ken: Oh. I’m very… green Jack: Oh! I found a key! Mark: I’m coming back.. Are you both dead? Pewds: Yep Ken: Yeaahhh… Mark: What- Ken: We drank some bleach.
Mark: Oh geez man! Pewds: Don’t drink bleach, kids. Mark: You’re not built to last Jack: Get in! Mark: I’m getting there, I ran out of sprint Pewds: I mean there’s nothing to kill you in the game but yourself… Like.. Mark: Okay
Jack: Here we go! Mark: I’m ready Jack: Use car key in ignition Mark: Alright Mark: Okay, there we go Pewds: Wait, you’re gonna drive the car and we don’t see it?! Mark: [talking to self] Parking break off Mark: Move- WOAHH OH HO HO HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Pewds: What the fuck just happened?! Pewds: What just happened?
Jack: We crashed and died! Yaaay! Ken: Uhh… Yayyy Pewds: Good Job. Ken: What am I supposed to do? I have no idea. Jack: Stop us from killing ourselves.
Mark: Just stop us Pewds: Oh God, the beginning is worse!
Mark: Stop us whatever it takes Jack: Yeah, when you see the lips– Hello Dad!!!! Ken: Hey! Mark: You will never stop me! Jack: Get him! Kill Daddy!
[Mark laughs] Ken: Who’s that?! No! You can’t have that!!! Jack: I’m going to drive the car!
Pewds: This is Attack on the Titan!! Mark: Jesus! Ken: You’re not allowed to drive the car! Ken: Oh god.. the pictures are going to fall off the walls
[Jack: Badly whistling the Attack on Titan opening] Babies! Babies. Please..! Mark: Yeah?
Pewds: Shut up! Ken: Who dressed you?! Mark: “Shut up, Dad!” Jack: Shut up, Dad! Mark: YOU did, Dad! We learned it from watching YOOOU! Ken: I’m going to pick these babies up Jack: I’m gonna beat the shit out of dad with a hammer! Ken: AHH!!! [Mark laughs]
Ken: Gimme that hammer! Jack: Nooo!!!! Die!!!! Ken: Baseball Cap Baby what are you doing? Mark: No! No no, no, nothing! Nothing! NOT drowning myself in the toilet! Ken: In the pooper?! [Mark laughs]
Jack: Where are you, Daddy…? Jack: I ca — oh God —
Ken: Get outta the tub! Mark: No!
Jack: I broke the game! Jack: I can’t move! Fuck! Mark: Aw, c’mon Dad. I need a bath
[Ken laughs] Mark: Dad! Jack: Oh man! Ken: Mark-baby! Mark: [Makes burbling drowning sound] Pewds: Stop making Mark kill himself! Ken: He’s so thirsty! Mark: OOoOOo~!! Pewds: Oh noooooo!
[Mark laughs] Mark: I just want a bath! Jack: What are you guys are doing to each other?!
Pewds: Oh my God! Mark: I just want a bath! Let me get clean! Mark: I’m a dirty baby! Mark: I’m a dirty baby Jack: Who’s a dirty baby? Ken: Dammit! Jack: Get away from me, Daddy! Mark: This is how this works
[Mark laughs] [Ken Laughs] Jack: Oh we’re drowning!
Pewds: You’re becoming.. pink Pewds: Yeh Yeh, we’re… drowning. Yeah. Mark: It’s almost there Ken: Before we had Jack-Baby with his hammer Pewds: Don’t drop the soap Daddy! Ken: You know what?! I’m gonna take a, take a.. take a shit while you, over there are drowning yourselves… [Pewds makes drowning noises] Ken: You guys are enjoying the bath, babies? Ken: Hey, there’s no toilet paper in here!!
Mark: [laughing] This is a great bath, Daddy! Mark: ARRGH!! Ken: AAHH, NOOO!!!! MY BABIES!
Jack: AAARRGGAAHH! Mark: [laughing]
Pewds: [more drowning noises] Ken: [crying] NOOOO!!
Jack: I got a fork, Daddy… and I’m not afraid to use it! Pewds: OH MY GOD, I DROWNED! What the fuck? You didn’t save me? whats wrong with you?!?!! [Mark laughs] Ken: Jack! You didn’t see ANYTHING! Ken: Don’t tell your mom! Jack: Wha-What did you do Daddy?!?! Mark: Oh! wait, I can see my body now Ken: I got it I got it… Who’s tha- Jack: Fuck you. Fuck you, Daddy! Jack: AHH!!! Pewds: No! [Mark laughs]
Ken: Oh… you’re so.. Ken: You’re so black now! Ken: God damn these babies! Pewds: Are you a dad? Ken: Yeah! It’s really hard to freakin’ stop… But I couldn’t leave Mark alone. He would die! [Mark laughs] Ken: Wait, wait…Wh- [bursts out laughing] What is THAT? Is that a bong?! Pewds: SHOOT HERR!!
Mark: [To Ken] No?! [Everyone laughs and screams and freaks out] Jack: Shoooot heeer!
Ken: Gimme dat! Mark: Where’s the dildo? I need the dildo. Jack: There’s a dildo?!? Ken: Wa-Wait! That’s your mom’s drawer! Get out of that! Mark: No no no no no no, c’mon, c’mon c’mon. Ken: OH GOD! There is, there IS a dildo in this drawer… Mark: I know! There IS a dildo in there.
Ken: How’d THAT get there? [Mark laughs] Pewds: Daddy! I feel sick! Pewds: Dad!
Mark: Oh! Jack: I see the light Daddy!
Pewds: Ahhhh~ Mark: Uh oh… Pewds: Daddy! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! [Mark laughs] Ken: Come back, Baby! Pewds: Give it to me…
Ken: You like that? Yeah, you like that?
Mark: Bad baby! Bad baby! Pewds: [In demon voice] I LIKE IT. Jack: I don’t like whats going on right now Ken: Wait, where did the other babies go? Mark: We’re having some baby time in the bedroom
Ken: Ah! AH! Where did you come from? Jack [singing]: ♪ Where did you go, where did you come from… ♪ [Mark makes a growling sound] [Ken screams then starts to laugh]
[Mark and Jack laugh] Jack: All I can see is Ken and a dildo through the window
[All laugh some more] [Mark laughs] Jack: ♪ Dildo~! ♪ Ken: Jack! You don’t, you don’t want to see this! Oh God I dropped it! Ken: Mark’s getting away!! Mark: Oh No! No! I’m just gonna go play! Don’t mind me! Ken: Why cant I move?! I’m like My head’s like… jerking through the screen! Jack: Oh yeah what the fuck is going on? [Mark laughs] Ken: I really am glitched Ken: There’s like- Mark, what are you doing in the kitchen? Mark: Nothing! Nothing I-I’m working on something just ‘cuz my body is DOUSED in gasoline Wa-wait, pick me up and hold me over the candle Just, just to see- DAMMIT! NOOO!!! [Everyone laughs] Jack: Ken’s a terrible dad! Mark: Yeah, we, we need a new daddy Ken: You trying to get to this gasoline over here? Mark: No!
Pewds: Alright
Mark: Yes!
*Ken, pewds laughs* Mark: Ah! It’s broken
Pewds: What a dick dad Pewds: I got it! Oh no, I DRANK the gasoline dammit!
[Mark laughs] Mark: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Ken: You such a good babies Mark: I know, We know
Jack: The car’s ready to go! Everybody in! Pewds: I’m coming! I’m coming
Mark: Uh! Hang on! Mark: Wha…Hang on!
Ken:You guy wanna huff some paint also with your gas? Pewds: I’ll drive! Pewds: Thanks Ken: Alright babies!
Jack: Mark! Where are you? Ken: [Slurred] “Hey i’m drunk; take me to the store!” [Mark laughs]
Jack: You’re too late Mark! The car’s leaving without you!
Mark: I…I’m coming! Jack: GET IN!
Mark: I’m try to get on…I’m stuck on the grill Pewds: Did you get in the car Ken? Ken: Alright Babies! Let’s go!
Jack: Imma kill us all!
Mark: Wait! hang on [Car crashes]
Mark: No! Ah! I got crushed under the wheel! [Everyone laughs and chatters] Mark: Dammit [Everyone Screams] Jack: When I close this door, I better not hear any shit! [Mark, Felix, & Ken make fart sounds] Jack: [Sarcastically] Oh, very fucking clever! [Mark & Ken laugh] Ken: Aaah, he’s back! Mark: Hang on, I know how to…There’s a vent up here… Jack: You guys know I can crush a baby’s skull with my bare hands? Mark: No, that’s MY move! Mark: That’s my signature sex move Jack: What’re you guys doing?
Mark: AHA!!!!! Whoa….I FOUND THE TASER!!! Jack: Oh-ho-HO… Jack: Where’d the other fuckin’ baby go —
Mark: Now, I’m gonna come…I’m gonna come to — Jack: No! No! No, Baby!
Mark: Ah…ha. Hi, Daddy. *laughs* Hi, Daddy! Mark: Hi, Daddy!
Jack: Okay, okay, okay…Baby, we’re all — we’re all friends here… Jack: Put…the TASER…DOWN! [Mark snarls fiercely] Jack: NO! AAAAAH!
Mark: *laughing* Jack: *incoherent babbling*
Mark: Hey! Hey, hey, fellow babies! Check out Daddy! Mark: Daddy’s doing a dance! Pewds: Wait, shoot ME. Mark [laughing]: I don’t have a TASER left! Pewds: Aw, shit. Mark: I’m all outta TASE juice. Jack: Babyplier! Where are you? Mark: Nowhere. I’m just relaxing. In the sensual room. Mark: Uh — DAMMIT! Jack: Yeah!
Ken: What? Pewds: WHAT? Jack: Best Daddy ever! Mark: None of us died! How did none of us die? Ken: What the hell happened? Jack: You guys suck! You spent all your fucking thing trying to kill ME! Mark: Whatever. *I* was trying to burn myself alive! Jack: You’re a terrible…suicider, then. Mark: Awwww. I try my best. Jack: Is that a thing? Ken: I will kill myself so hard… [Mark laughs] Mark: Daddy, look. I can fly. You wanna see? Mark: I can fly.
Jack: Show me. Mark: HAAAAAAAA! Mark: Did you see it? Jack: You are SUCH a fucking disappointment. Mark: Ohhh. [laughs]
[Pewds laughs] Ken: That was AWESOME!
Mark: Thanks. Thanks, Brother! Jack: No, no, no…Babyplier, NO!
Mark: How did you meet me in h — NO, the ba- [stammers] Jack: No! No!
Mark: Baby wants his juice! Mark: His gasoline juice! Jack: You want your juice box?
Ken: THE JUUUICE! You must spray the juice! Pewds: I’m gonna spray ya, Baby!
Ken: YEAAAAH! Mark: Please. Pleeease.
[loud sexual noises from Ken and Pewds] Jack: What are you guys up to?
Mark: Oh…Oh, geez… Mark: Please. Please?
Jack: No! I’m making a last stand! Mark: Okay, I — God! That was…Thank you, Daddy!
Jack: Oh shit… Jack: No, no, no, no!
Mark [laughing]: That’s all I needed! Ken: We’re huffing it! Jack: Can I burn you?
Ken: Wait… Ken: Dammit, I ran out…
Jack: What’re you guys doing? Mark: Hey, who turned on the dryer? Mark: Burn me! [loud screaming and laughing from everyone] Pewds: BABYPLIER!!! D: Ken: Put ‘im out with a fire extinguisher! Mark: Oh God…AAAAAH- Mark: -bleh. Jack: You burned them ALL! [Mark laughs]
Pewds: Baby Wins! Jack: What the FUCK? [Mark and Pewds laugh]
Jack: That was TERRIFYING! Ken: Mark, you wanna be Dad? Mark: Yeah, I’ll be Dad. Mark: I’ll be da BEST Dad! Mark: You goddamn kids choke on these balls! Mark: Dammit! In the vent!? [laughter from the others]
Mark: Oh, fuck off! Where’d you go? Mark: Where’d you little bastards go? Jack: We got this! Mark: Where? Where are you? Mark: WHERE ARE YOU? Jack: Escape from Dadiplier!
Mark: NOOOOO! Ken: Yeaaaah! Mark: No, no dousing yourself in fire this time! Mark: Where’s the Grabber-Dick? Mark: Er, Grabber doodad.
Pewds: Grabber-WHAT? Mark [laughing]: The Grabber-Dick. You know what I’m talking about. Pewds: Of course! Yes! Ken: Of course! The Grabber-Dick. Jack: DEAD! YES!
Mark: Agh, what the hell!? Mark: God damn it!
Pewds: What just happened? Mark: Every one of you!? Mark: Once I find the Grabber-Dick, I’m gonna get you… Mark: And I’m gonna make sure… Jack: You gotta step up your Daddy game. Mark: I…my Daddy game is already elevated to maximum capacity, okay? Jack: Really? ‘Cause I seem to r-…see… Ken: AH!
Jack: That…we all…killed ourselves… Mark: No! No, no, no, you didn’t — you didn’t do shit! Jack: You are SUCH a cool dad!
Mark: Why — why can’t I pick you up with my bare hands? Mark: It’s so stupid…
Jack: ‘Cause you don’t HAVE bear hands. Mark: Shut up! I have somethin’…
Jack: You have HUMAN hands. Mark: Uh…Fuck! There’s nothin’! There’s nothin’! Pewds: Don’t do anything stupid now, Dad…
Mark: Ah…shit! Ugh! I’m…I’m just gonna scoop you up in a basket! Mark: Ah, fuck! It’s not working! Ken: Oh God! Mark: Jesus!
Jack: Whatcha doin’? Mark: Just…
Jack: Leave my brothers alone! Mark: No! Ken: Chiiild abuuuse! [incoherent talking and shouting] Mark: THAT’S what I’m looking for! Give that to Daddy! Give that to Daddy! Mark: Give that to Daddy.
[shouting from Ken and Pewds] Mark: All right, so…I’m gonna lock you guys in here… Mark: It’s Jack that’s the troublesome one, where’s HE? Jack: No! No!
Mark: Jack, where are you? Jack: No!
Mark: Come to Daddy! Jack: Noooo…
Mark: COME TO DADDY! Jack: I need to find a way out…I need to find a way out… Mark: Where are you…?
Pewds: Where are you guys? Mark: I don’t…I don’t know where Jack went… Jack: I got it…I got it. I got it! I’m dying! Ken: He’ll never find me… Mark: No-no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no! What are you dying from? Jack: I’m already dying! Mark: No — From what?
Jack: That’s a secret, Daddy! I’m hiding! Mark: From WHAT? Mark: What are you dying from!? Mark: Where are you dying? Mark: What the hell is happening? [Jack laughs evilly] Mark: Oh geez…
Jack: I am MLG Baby-Killer. Pewds: I want hot chocolate!
Mark: No! No! No! Mark: No!
Pewds: Let me go! Pewds: Let me go, I’m gonna tase you!
Mark: No…No…N-TRY it! Pewds: I’m gonna tase you…
Mark: TRY it, Baby Bitch! Come on! Pewds: Nooooo….
Mark: You’re going in — back into your crib… Pewds: Saaave meee…
Mark: And you’re gonna STAY there! Mark: You…bleh. Ah shit, it broke.
Jack: Yes…Yes! Batteries! Jack: Yeeees!
Mark [laughing]: Are you stuck in the wall? Pewds: Yes…
Mark: Oh my God… Mark: That’s what you get, Baby — ow… Pewds: Fuck! I missed. [Mark laughs]
Jack: Daddy? I’m dying. Daddy. Mark: How? Where? Why?? Mark: I’ve — I’ve…I’ve figured out the final solution for Babydom. Mark: You just gotta stick ’em in the wall. [laughs] [Jack laughs] Mark: Where’d you go? Where’d you go, you little shit? Pewds: Nope. Never…
Jack: Aaaaand…dead. Mark: Aaaaah FUCK! Mark: Were you hiding under the car? Mark: Being Daddy sucks. [everyone else laughs] Jack: This is analogous to real life. Mark: Yeah, exactly. Mark: Shoulda worn a condom! Mark: Egh! I shouldn’t have let my wife go to that orgy!
Jack: That’s all this game is, is a commercial for condoms. Mark: Ugh… Pewds: Stop blocking the damn door! Pewds: Goddamnit!
Ken: Jack! Jack: I’m out! Jack: Come on, baby brethren! Mark: Noooo! [laughs] Jack: This is where we fight! Mark: Always through the goddamn vent. Mark: How ’bout no…How ’bout a lot of no… Mark: How ’bout I — NO! Pewds: I wanna light myself on fire. Mark: No, you do NOT do that. That’s exactly NOT what you do. Jack: I got you, Baby Bros. I got you, Baby Bros.
Pewds: Please, please, Dad! Let me live my DREAMS! Mark: No. Pewds: Gawwd… Mark: STOP IT!
Jack: God, Dad, just let us KILL ourselves! Mark: NO!
Ken: What?? Damn it, Daddy! [Jack and Mark laugh] Mark: If I — I’m gonna put a candle in the water, that way it’ll evaporate all the water… Mark: No, stop it with the bleach! Mark: Don’t — don’t do that…Don’t do that…
Jack: Come here, Daddy…I’ve got a KNIFE for you… [Ken screams]
Mark [laughing]: You STAY in there! Ken: You locked me in here? I’m the dirty little secret… Jack: C’mere!
Mark: Ah! Take the — here. Mark: I’ve got the knife on you! Wait… Jack: No!
Mark: Why can’t I use this knife on you? [Ken laughs]
Mark: To stab you in the dick…
Jack: What a safe thing to do on a baby. Mark: Aaaagh! No, eat this fruit! Jack: No!
Mark: Eat your breakfast! Jack: Do it! Do it, baby! Mark: Ha-HA-ha! I gave you a fruit!
Pewds: Oh thanks, Dad. Mark: You’re welcome. Pewds: I love oranges.
Ken: What’s going on? Jack: Get the candle!
Mark: I can’t move!
Pewds: Where’s the candle? Jack: It’s on the table! Get it!
Mark: Aah! Shit! Mark: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it…
Jack: I’ll help you! Go, baby! Jack: Look it that little baby butt! Mark: Eh… Pewds [singing]: Lift me up, lift me up… Mark: Hang on… Ken: Which one is the one… Mark: No! Are you doused in gasoline? You stop that now! Mark: You need a bath!
Jack: Where’s the table? Pewds: Killl mehhh… Mark [laughing]: No… Jack: Oh God, I’m stuck on a chair! *grunts* Mark: You stay there…Oh man, why did you… Mark: Why did you stab me in the ankles? I can’t move anywhere! [Ken and Pewds laugh]
Jack: Yeeeah… Jack: Where’s the candle? Pewds: It’s here in the hallway. Mark: No no no no…
Jack: Get it! Mark: [many more “no”s]
Jack: Get it, babies!
Ken: I’m gonna eat some batteries…Delicious. Jack: Maybe I can’t do it! Mark: Okay…
Pewds: Ya just gotta belieeeve… Jack: We must…We must get this. Jack: Can we knock over the ta-NOO!
Mark: Nooo! Stop that!
Ken: AAAH, laser beam! Jack: NOOO!
[Mark laughs] Ken [laughing]: He’s just freaking out! Pewds: What the fuck are you doing? [Jack babbles incoherently]
Mark: I’m making sure you’re s-WHAT!? Mark: Noooo! Ken: Yeah! Mark: Goddamnit, I gave you a FRUIT! Ken: Look it those dance moves! Jack: I think the consensus is Worst Dad Ever. Mark: Oh shut up! As if YOU were any BETTER! Pewds: Arright, listen up, you piece of shits! Mark: Oh God… Ken: Oh God… Pewds: If you’re not in bed in 5 seconds… Pewds: …I’m gonna FUCK you! Mark [laughing]: Woah…
Jack: I’m…I’m sorry Daddy!
Pewds: WHAT’RE YOU DOING? [Ken shouts]
Jack: Daddy, I’m sorry…
Mark: That’s kind of extreme… [Pewds roars angrily]
Jack: I’ll go to bed! Jack: I’ll go to bed, Daddy! I’m sorry! *cries* Ken: Jesus…
Mark: Daddy, I’m scared…
Pewds: Kill yourself, you piece of shit! Mark: Oh God, Daddy, no!
Ken: Where’s the dildo? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Jack: Go away, Daddy. I’ll go to bed… Mark: I’ll go to bed. I’ll go to bed…
Pewds: I hate you!
Ken: We’re going to bed… Pewds: I HATE you!
Mark [nervously]: We’re going to bed! Pewds: Yeah, go to BED! March up! Mark [sobbing]: Okay…
Jack: I — I miss Mal-…I miss Mommy. Pewds: Last one to bed gets a spanking with a belt! Mark: Why did Mom go to that wonderful hotel vacation for three years?
Ken [intrigued]: Ooh, a belt! Ken: Ooh, some pants! Jack: Why can’t I get on the bed? Pewds: GET IN THE BED! COME ON! Jack: I’m TRYING!
Mark: I can’t get on the bed! Jack [sobbing]: I’m sorry, Daddy! Ken: Knock over that thing in the corner so I can jump on it and get in bed! [Mark whimpers nervously]
Pewds: Last one gets a spanking! Jack: Don’t hurt me again!
Mark: Aah, no, no! Mark: It’s Jack! Jack’s the last one! Pewds: Jack, you gets the SPANKING! Jack: THAT’S not ME! Mark: Oh, KEN! I’m sorry, KEN’S the last one!
[Ken screams] Ken: OH! Oh, my buns! My baby buns! Oh nooo…
[Mark laughs] Mark: Jack! Jack! I’m scared!
[Pewds snarls angrily] [Ken cries]
Mark: I’m scared! Jack: Hold me! Hold me, baby brother! Mark [laughing]: I’m holding ya! Mark: Daddy won’t get us — Pewds: You shall NOT console each other!
Mark: AAAH! Daddy, NO! Jack: Okay…okay, we gotta make a break for it! We gotta make a break for it! Jack: Through the vent, babies!
Pewds: No, you can’t run from ME!
Mark: Where!? Mark: I don’t know where the vent is!
Pewds: I AM YOUR FATHER! Ken: WOOOO!
Mark: Woooo… Pewds: Aw, you pieces of shit…
Mark: Ahhh! [Ken laughs]
Jack: Run, baby brothers!
Mark: Ooh! Mark: Okay, okay, I can turn the dryer and washer on! You go in the dryer, I’ll go in the washer! [Ken grunts]
Mark: It’s a deal! Jack: Oh look, it’s the scary Daddy! Mark: Oh God, it went off! Why did it go off?
Ken: Why, this thing turned off! Why? Jack: No! No, Daddy, no!
Pewds: HAVE AN ORANGE! [Mark laughs]
Pewds: Have a fucking orange! Pewds: You have a banana! Pewds: Put that down, boy! Mark: He’s trying to make us healthy! RUN! Jack: The baby’s doused!
Mark: Yes — Baby’s doused! Get Baby a candle! Mark: We gotta finish this!
Pewds: Drink the gasoline! I dare you! Jack: I AM, Daddy!
Pewds: I fucking dare you — drink it! Jack: Okay, we’re doused. Jack: We just gotta get a candle!
Mark: I know how to get to the candle… Pewds: Here you go, you piece of shit! I dare you! You’re too pussy! [Ken and Jack scream] [Mark laughs]
Jack: WOOOOOO! WOOOO! WOO-WOO-WOOO! Mark [laughing]: AAAH! Oh god! Pewds: I ran out of…stop! Jack: Oh my God, the SOUND! Mark: Yeah, the screaming! Oh my God… [Mark laughs] Ken: Oh, you’re standing on me! Ken: Like that’s the WORST of my problems… [Mark laughs] Mark: Oh, it’s still screaming! Do you guys hear that? Mark: Good job, Daddy. We love you, Daddy. *kissing noises* Jack: You’re a TERRIBLE father. I hate you. Mark: No, *I* love you. Pewds: Does anyone else wanna be Daddy in — one more time, or something? Jack: No. Mark: I think…you’re the BEST Daddy…
Jack: Sensual lips! Mark: …that ever…ever Dadded! Ken: Those sexual lips you had there was just…hot! [Jack laughs] Ken: Ow!
Mark [in an Irish [?] accent]: Hot. It’s very hot. Jack: “Open Room of Great Achievement”. Pewds: Hands up, babies! Ken: Whooo!
Jack: Jesus! No, Dad!
Pewds: Hands up! Jack: Put the gun down, Daddy!
Mark: Sorry, Dad — Ow. Ow. [Mark yells crazily] Mark: Okay, so… Mark: There’s a plug over there…
Jack: Wait, my health isn’t going down anymore! Pewds: Stop fuckin’ around! You’re supposed to be in bed! Mark: No no no no. It’s all right, Dad.
Jack: Daddy, gimmie some fruit! Jack: Daddy, I’m gonna die! Gimmie some fruit!
Pewds: All right — Babies, it’s time for your bath, all right? Jack: Daddy, I need fruit!
Pewds: I’m gonna get in here. Get in there, Ken. Mark: Oh geez! Oh God!
Jack: I need fruit! I’m gonna die! Ken: Oh Jesus Christ!
Mark: The toaster’s freaking out… Pewds: Time for your dirty bath, you dirty bitches! Jack: Okay, but I’m gonna die. Ken: Won’t get it in there… Pewds: You can’t die, you’re too much of a pussy. Mark: No no no no no no, give him…give him some pills! Give him some PILLS! Pewds: I’m making the bath for you. It’s nice and warm. Jack [mutters something incomprehensible] Good job, Ken. Ken: I’m like, trying to figure out how to drop this shit… Ken: I can’t.
Pewds: Let’s take a bath, babies. Mark: Okay. All right, Daddy.
Jack: Okay. Aaaaand… Jack: I…am…dead. [Mark laughs] Mark: Don’t worry, I tried to–
Jack: *makes drowning noises* Mark: *Laughter* Ken: Eat that booty. Pewds: Oh noooo… Pewds: My babieeees!
Jack: Now we’re purple! [Closed Captioning provided & edited by the YouTube Community]

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  1. Now we have an abusive grandmother whos son told her how suicidal the babies were and now the toddlers want to kill the grandma instead

  2. This is like the only time you'll her jack calling mark "baby", and mark calling jack "daddy"πŸ₯΄πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­

  3. I love your channel and have watched it for a long time and I think you and Jackie boi are the best YouTubers and I mean it

  4. Hey Mark! I'd be honoured to play with you sometime! I know, I sound… weird… and stuff… but just so you know!

  5. Mark: Where is there fire? I wanna be lit on fire
    Jack: oh the stove
    Mark: I tried it. I went in the oven, it didn't work

    ….Just a little bit off Mark

  6. It’s attack on titan
    𝕀π•₯𝕒𝕣π•₯𝕀 π•€π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π• π•‘π•–π•Ÿπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π• π•Ÿπ•– 𝕠𝕗 𝕒π•₯π•₯π•’π•”π•œ π• π•Ÿ π•₯π•šπ•₯π•’π•Ÿ

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