Hey everybody, this is Burnie and Chris and our co-worker and our buddy, Blaine, claims to be the biggest “Star Wars” fan in the world, in a world full of “Star Wars” fans. And, because he is the biggest fan in the world -we decided to get him something very, very special
-Very special. an early screening of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” four days early, to be exact. There’s only one problem: we couldn’t actually get the movie, but we still booked a theater to show him… …maybe something else. Oops. (Burnie)
Alright, just got a message that Blaine is now on his way to the office. (Burnie laughs) Alright, I’ve gotta get my giggles out first. -Hey, Burnie.
-Hey, dude, what’s up, man? I got an email, I’m like way behind this, so I hope it actually works out. You know Mac? He works at Lucasfilm. He’s got an opportunity for– there’s an early screening of “Star Wars”. -You wanna do it?
-Yeah. Okay, we’ll call him and see what he needs. (phone dialing) Hey, this is Burnie? (Burnie)
Yeah, hey, what’s going on, man? Blaine is like one of our real heavy-hitters on social media here. (Burnie)
He’s also like, bar none, our biggest “Star Wars” fan. (Burnie)
Would you say– Yeah, the audience is really well aware of what a big fan Blaine is of “Star Wars”. So, forgive me if Burnie has already said any of this, but we need you to– to say, in a couple of sentences why you’re the biggest “Star Wars” fan, and we also need to you do some impressions. (Blaine, laughing)
Okay. I can do impressions. Yeah, so, what would the characters be that you need me to do impressions of? Uh… Chewbaca, Leia, Lando Calrissian, R2-D2… … a Tauntaun—I don’t have to tell you what that is. Jabba the Hutt, Mace Windu is the next one, also from Episode I, Watto, Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Really, you guys are doing Jar Jar? Yeah, but you know what, in this we’re trying to sort of holistically and embrace everything. (Burnie)
You guys know what you’re doing. I’m sure. They don’t all necessarily have to be verbal, I mean if you want to through in some moves… And, for the screening, if you could show up in costume. –full Jar Jar outfit. (Mac)
Yeah, no, that’s great. I know it’s such sort notice, but does all this seem doable? Oh, totally. Alright. -Bye.
-(Mac laughs) He’s got a Jar Jar costume? That’s weird. -Thank you so much, Burnie. Come here, man.
-Oh, I get a hug for this? -It’s so good to see you. I’m so excited.
-It’s good to see you, too, man. (Burnie, laughing)
Sit down so other people can see you on camera. (Blaine imitating Mace Windu)
The oppression of the Sith will never return, you have lost. (Blaine)
You’ve been invited to a V.I.P. screening of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”? You, sir, down there! I’m seeing “Star Wars”, tomorrow! Go to hell! Hey, guys, I’m less than an hour away from going to one of the world’s first ever “Force Awakens” screenings. And, I figured I’d go as one of my favorite “Star Wars” characters. (imitating Jar Jar Binks)
Meesa so excited! So, I’m about to get out of the car and see the movie. I leave a boy and I come back a man. A man who has seen “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. (screening host)
Without further ado, I present to you:
“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. Thank you guys so much. (Crowd cheers and applauds) (Music plays)
-Yeah, woo! (music continues) (music turns ominous) (Exhaling) (Chris O.S.)
I’ve got a bad feeling about this. (lightsaber turns on)
Chewie, where’s BB-8? (Aaron imitates Chewbacca) (Zach)
Beep, boop! Beep, boop! Beep, boop! A message? (Chris)
Show us! Hello, what do we have here? Welcome, Leia. (imitating Leia Organa)
Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper? (imitating Watto)
I’m a Toydarian—mind tricks don’t work on me. Only money. (imitating R2-D2) (imitating Darth Maul)
At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last, we’ll have our revenge. (laughing)
Oh, Jesus. (imitating Emperor Palpatine)
No, no, no, you will die! Unlimited power! (Chris, Aaron, and Zach laugh) (crowd laughs and applauds) (screaming)
No! That’s not true! That’s impossible! Are you kidding me? (crowd laughs) I– I hate you. I hate you so much. (Burnie)
-I had nothing to do with it.
-Burnie! (Burnie laughs) You’re a Sith Lord. (Burnie)
How are you feeling right now? Just never… ..never once… thought that my friends would (beep) on me so hard. But, I gotta say the lowest point for me was like after our conversation in my office. -When you, like–
-Hugged you? You said “I wanna give you a big hug.” And I was like “you’re my best friend, Burnie.” (Burnie laughs) I can’t believe you did this. -It’s like straight villainy, right there.
-Oh my God. That’s, like– At what point is the knife still back there? –that’s like Palpatine. Like, that’s the threshold, Palpatine to Sidious right there. That’s when I crossed over. (crowd cheers and applauds) (Burnie laughs) You know, like, when you’re just so happy and you just get tunnel vision and just like– My God, I feel so much (bleep) about my self for talking to the camera about how excited I was. Well, I’ll see you at work. (imitating cry, bashing against wall) (screaming)
No! (bangs on floor) (Chris laughs) (Chris)
Bye, Blaine. (Blaine)
No… (Blaine sighs)
Hey, guys I hope you enjoy “Star Wars” on the day it’s supposed to come out and not four days early… um, if you enjoy sci-fi, if you enjoy action, adventure, you should go check out “Lazer Team”. It’s Rooster Teeth’s first feature film and tickets are on sale now. So, you can go to LazerTeamTheMovie.com You can check out what cities are having screenings and if there’s not a screening in your city, you can organize one through Tugg. All the information is on our website go see it, go see “Star Wars”. (making sobbing noises) (Chris)
It’s okay. You’ll see it in a couple of days. “Star Wars”…