The World’s Longest Aircraft Crash
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The World’s Longest Aircraft Crash

September 14, 2019


FIRST THING ON THE SHOW, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, THE FIRST THING WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT
TONIGHT — I DON’T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS — BUT THE LARGEST
AIRCRAFT IN THE WORLD, THE AIRLINER 10, WHICH IS 100 FEET
LONGER THAN A BOEING 747 HAS CRASHED DURING A TEST FLIGHT. NOW, NO ONE WAS INJURED BUT WE
HEAR THE FOOTAGE OF THE CRASH IS PRETTY HARROWING. I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET BUT WHAT
WE’RE ABOUT TO SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW IS REAL FOOTAGE OF THE
AIRLINER 10 CRASHING AFTER IT HITTING SOME POWER LINES. TAKE A LOOK. [ LAUGHTER ]
OK, THAT IS A VERY SLOW CRASH, RIGHT? CLEARLY, IT’S GOING TO TAKE
AWHILE. SO WE’LL MOVE ON TO SOME OTHER
TOPICS AND WE’LL COME BACK TO IT. IN OTHER NEWS, THERE ARE RUMORS
THAT — I THINK YOU SAW THIS — OLYMPIC SWIMMER RYAN
LOCHTE HAS SIGNED A DEAL TO APPEAR ON THE NEXT SEASON OF
“DANCING WITH THE STARS” IT’LL BE NICE TO HAVE LOCHTE HAVE
THREE PEOPLE JUDGING HIM INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE COUNTRY. IT’S NOT OFFICIAL YET. IT IS JUST A RUMOR THAT RYAN
LOCHTE IS JOINING “DANCING WITH THE STARS,” BUT YOU KNOW IT’S
TRUE BECAUSE IT DIDN’T COME FROM RYAN LOCHTE. LET’S GO BACK TO THE AIRCRAFT,
BECAUSE IT’S GOT TO BE CRASHING BY NOW. LET’S SEE. IT STILL HASN’T CRASHED YET? WHAT WERE THE PILOTS DOING
DURING THIS LONG, DRAWN-OUT CRASH? ARE THEY IN THE COCKPIT GOING
“AHHHHHHHHHL!” AND LET’S MOVE ONTO SOME OTHER
STUFF AND WE’LL COME BACK. IN SCIENCE NEWS, ASTRONOMERS AT
NASA ARE SAYING THAT THEY DISCOVERED A NEW EARTH-LIKE
PLANET THAT’S ONLY 4.2 LIGHT YEARS AWAY. I KNOW, I REACTED THE EXACT SAME
WAY AS YOU DID. I DON’T KNOW HOW FAR THAT IS
EITHER. I’M LIKE, LONG? FAR? YES? NO? THIS IS GREAT NEWS, LIKE, A NEW
EARTH-LIKE PLANET HAS BEEN DISCOVERED A FEW MONTHS BEFORE
AN ELECTION WHERE DONALD TRUMP COULD BE PRESIDENT. IF THAT’S NOT PERFECT TIMING, I
DON’T KNOW WHAT IS. AND THIS STORY MAY BE OFF. APPARENTLY ON HIS RADIO TALK
SHOW, RUSH LIMBAUGH MENTIONED A U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE
DEPARTMENT FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY. AND HE SAID THIS SCHEME BY IT
WAS A SCHEME BY OBAMA TO INFILTRATE RURAL AMERICA WITH AN
ARMY OF GOVERNMENT-PAID LESBIAN FARMERS. I MEAN, IT’S SO RIDICULOUS. LIKE, WHAT DOES HE THINK — IT’S
LIKE, LOOK OUT, RURAL AMERICA! THEY’RE GOING TO STEAL YOUR
CROPS AND BEAT YOU AT SOFTBALL! LIKE, I DON’T KNOW — I DON’T
KNOW IF THAT’S — IF IT’S OBAMA THAT’S CAUSING LESBIANS TO
BECOME FARMERS. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU JUST DON’T
BECOME A FARMER. YOU’RE BORN A FARMER. I DON’T KNOW IF GOVERNMENT PAID
LESBIAN FARMERS ARE A THREAT TO AMERICA, BUT IT’S DEFINITELY
RUSH LIMBAUGH’S MOST-SEARCHED TERM ON PORNHUB. LOOK, WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME. LET’S SEE IF THE PLANE HAS
FINALLY CRASHED.>>WOW.>>IS THAT IT? THAT’S THE WHOLE THING? NO WONDER NOBODY ON BOARD WAS
INJURED. NOBODY ON BOARD WAS EVEN AWARE
THAT THEY’D CRASHED! LIKE, WHAT DID THE FLIGHT
ATTENDANTS ON THAT FLIGHT SAY BEFORE IT TOOK OFF? “IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY,
JUST DO WHATEVER. IF YOU’VE GOT A FULL DRINK,
MAYBE GET IT DOWN TO HALF WAY. OTHER THAN THAT, HAVE FUN. RELAX.” WE’VE ACTUALLY GOT A REAL
PICTURE OF THE PLANE BACK IN THE HANGGAR NOW WHERE THEY’RE
REPAIRING IT, AND EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THE CRASH SAYS THEY
FEEL LIKE A BIT OF AN ASS. I THINK THAT’LL MAKE SENSE WHEN
YOU SEE THE PHOTO.

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  1. I feel like if it was close enough to the ground they could just open the side of the plane and jump out 😂😂

  2. Ah yes, God has a plan for everything, there is a new Earth, the apocalypse is upon us. I always knew it would have something to do with America .

  3. I hope you guys read this! Please subscribe to me, my dad said if I can get 1000 subscribers he will come back and see me! I'm half way there and cant do it without your help! please funkvolume fans! I love you all!                                                                   Thumbs this up so people can see

  4. This reminds of the crash of the aircraft that was made and owned by German BEFORE THE SECOND WORLD WAR STARTED XD

  5. James is like to say I'm sorry about yesterday at Disneyland. I was so star struck to see you there on Monsters inc and I wasn't trying to blow your cover. I just admire you so much and I've actually been thinking about doing the same thing in my car, you see I'm a Lyft driver and my customers always have a blast with me. I'm sorry hope you had a great time

  6. I just finished watching Gavin and Stacy for the 1,000th time and now I come back to this and it's like…"come back…"

  7. ESA discovered Proxima B, not NASA. I hope that was a genuine research error and not James trying to fit more of himself up America's arsehole.

  8. It's so slow, that you may as well crawl…nah, but in all seriousness, the function of this aircraft is useful and great! Surveillance, aid delivery etc.

  9. 4 light years is equivilant to the time it takes one of those planes to crash on the moon only from the moons gravity.

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